Wiccan Priest appalled by occult-teen “advice”

The Vancouver Sun published a letter to the editor in response to the “Parent Trap” column I wrote about yesterday. The letter came from Sam Wagar, a priest with the Congregationalist Wiccan Association of British Columbia. Here’s what he had to say:

I am appalled by the quality of the “advice” offered to the woman whose son has developed an interest in Satanism and the occult.

I became Wiccan 30 years ago when I was 26, and it’s still my religion – I don’t think I’m having a prolonged adolescence.

There are large differences between the different occult paths.

Even the great majority of Satanic groups, like the Church of Satan and the Temple of Set, find this play with blood and gothic role-playing childish.

I suggest this mother ask her son what he’s into, get some names of people he’s influenced by and do a little reading and thinking about it herself. She might consider referring him to some of the responsible Wiccan and occult groups in Vancouver: the Ordo Templi Orientis branches, the Congregationalist Wiccan Association of B.C. and others, rather than going on minimal information and your poorly informed columnist.

Sam Wagar Priest, Congregationalist Wiccan Association of B.C.

Right on, Sam. Right on.

Parents: where there’s smoke, there’s Satan?

What should you do if your teen is dabbling in the occult? The Vancouver Sun’s Parent Trap has some ideas. Photo by Flickr user penelopejonze.

Seeing your kids develop an interest in something you find scary is never fun. Especially if it’s something the movie world, television, and the press have told you is associated with violence and death.

One mom found herself in just such a position, and wrote to Vancouver Sun columnist Michele Kambolis’ column “The Parent Trap” for some advice. It starts off with heavy metal music, which she “shrugged off,” which is perhaps not the correct thing to do, but it’s better than assuming the worst. Things progressed to “inverted pyramids” — which could signify some interest in journalism (okay, probably not) or rejection of the arcane. Or that the kid doesn’t really have a handle on his occult symbols.

And then, this happened:

About four months ago, he started dating a girl who seems to be even deeper into this world than he is. The situation hit a breaking point when my husband smelled smoke (our kids aren’t allowed anything flammable whatsoever in their bedrooms) and burst in on the two of them setting up some sort of shrine complete with black candles and demonic pictures. There were also sharp objects on the table, and in doing some research on satanic cults, we have learned of the disgusting practice of satanists drinking each other’s blood — and I’m convinced this is the direction they were headed in.

This is where fear and bad information can get the better of you. It’s good that the dad went in when he smelled smoke, particularly since candles/flames are against house rules. But “black candles,” “demonic pictures,” and “sharp objects” do not equal Satanism or blood-drinking.

This could very easily have been a peaceful Wiccan ceremony. Wiccans use black candles for healing, banishing negativity, and other wholesome goals. Images of Cernunnos or Pan could be mistaken for demons. Most Wiccan altars are not complete without an athame, or ritual knife, which is used symbolically, and to stir or demarcate things during ceremonies, and not to hurt people. Even if it was Satanic, there’s no reason to think that it would automatically lead to the kinds of activities she’s worried about.

I wonder where this mom decided to “do her research.” The Internet? If, for example, you do a Google search for “do Satanists drink blood?”, you get several affirmative links, but none of them are authoritative or trustworthy.

Fortunately, the advice Kambolis — and her readers — offer is mostly sensible: talk to your son, listen when he explains his spiritual interests, and set reasonable ground rules. Unfortunately, one mom says, “I went through this with my daughter. I raided her room and removed everything that scared me, grounded her and banned her from seeing a friend who led her down the disturbing path in the first place.” It’s surprising this mom still has a relationship with her daughter.

Inexplicably, Kambolis says, “Websites bring teenagers directly to satanic chat lines where they can feel a sense of connection when they otherwise might struggle socially.” I’m not sure what she means by “Satanic chat lines.” There are certainly Web sites that explain Satanism, but “chat lines” sounds made up. Even if such things really exist, it honestly sounds like Kambolis was speculating.

Parents, how did you work with a child who was exploring an occult or pagan path? Current or former occultists and pagans, how did your parents respond to your burgeoning interest? Please share your stories in the comments.

“Demonic” teen pleads guilty to grandparents’ murder

Kyle Smith is serving life plus 10 years for the murder of his grandparents. Two friends are on 10 years’ probation for helping him set fire to their house.

Of all the posts on Backward Messages, by far the most popular is the one about Oklahoma’s Kyle Smith: “Demonic drawing,” Slipknot album linked to grandparents’ murder. Much has happened since then, so I wanted to provide a brief update.

In August, Smith pleaded guilty to charges that he murdered his grandparents, David and Rose Garrick, before setting their house on fire to destroy the evidence. Did he claim that the “demonic drawing,” or the Slipknot album, had anything to do with his actions?

He didn’t.

During his hearing, he told the court that he has been on medication for bipolar disorder since he was jailed for the crimes. At last word, he was being evaluated for mental health placement.

To be fair, the vast majority of people with bipolar disorder are not violent and do not kill people. It’s tough to say whether Smith’s illness contributed to his crimes. But that’s more likely to be a factor than his taste in music or his doodling — particularly if he was severely ill and unmedicated.

Earlier this month, two of Smith’s friends, Dustin Martin and Jacob LeBlanc, were sentenced to 10 years probation for helping Smith set fire to his grandparents’ house.

If you’re a friend of Smith’s, Martin’s or LeBlanc’s, please comment and let us know how you — and they — are doing.

If you’re close with a bipolar teen, can you provide any tips on helping these kids cope with their illness in a healthy, positive way?

“Demonic drawing,” Slipknot album linked to grandparents’ murder

Kyle Smith, 17, is accused of killing his grandparents and setting their house on fire in Midwest City, Oklahoma.

Kyle Smith, a 17-year-old from Midwest City, Oklahoma, is behind bars after being arrested for allegedly murdering his grandparents, David and Rose Garrick, and then setting their house on fire March 23. Two of Smith’s friends, 18-year-old Dustin Martin and 17-year-old Jacob LeBlanc, are also in jail for allegedly helping cover up the crime, but much of the media focus has rested on Smith and the “evidence” found in the home he shared with his grandparents.

Among that evidence, according to Oklahoma’s News 9 broadcast, is a “demonic drawing,” hinted at in this video. Out of context, a “demonic drawing” means almost nothing: Was it a pentagram (as the broadcast suggests) or something else? (Not all pentagrams are “demonic.”) If so, how do we know which way it was pointing? Do we know if it was Smith’s? Did it have any other writing on it? Was it clear it had anything to do with the occult, or was it inspired by an album cover or other piece of art? Did Smith draw it? Was it hidden away, or was it scribbled on a school-book cover? And what does this have to do with the crimes he allegedly committed?

The newscaster in the video actually gets a few things right, probably more by dint of the fact that she had to produce something about this supposed “demonic drawing,” but didn’t have any information on the drawing itself: she went to someone who knew more than she did about occult symbols and instead had him talk about what it means if a teen has one of these in his/her bedroom. This someone is private investigator Robert Smart, who says he’s had “training on how to read these kinds of drawings.” (Hope his training isn’t from Don Rimer.) His descriptions of the various symbols is less than illuminating, but his encouragement that parents should talk to their kids about these things is spot-on.

Unfortunately, all this is hinged on Smith’s crime, creating the impression that the described “demonic symbol” had anything to do with the murders. (Though Smart does rightly point out that Satanists don’t generally commit murder.)

Another Oklahoma broadcaster, NewsChannel 4, doesn’t do much better:

Inside the walls of the burned home, investigators seized a demonic drawing, a heavy metal CD with a pentagram, along with a hatchet, a samurai sword, a dagger, knives and two gas cans.

… “A heavy metal CD with a pentagram.” That doesn’t really clarify things. Antimusic.dom dug deeper and learned that the album in question was by Slipknot, probably All Hope Is Gone, which features a nine-pointed star, or nonagram, not a pentagram. According to the band’s own Web site, each of the points on this nine-pointed star represents one of the members of the band. How is this relevant to the crime? How many other ways would the reporters like to get their facts wrong? The mind boggles.

So far, there’s been little on Smith’s actual mental state, or his relationship with his grandparents. Was he violent? Disturbed? Abused? Why was he living with his grandparents and not his parents? NewsChannel 4 does stick in one speculative line: “We don’t know why. There’s been questions about the psychological welfare of this 16-year-old suspect. That ‘s up to the experts, we have no idea,” said Chief Clabes. But that comes after this one, which has as little to do with the crimes as the “demonic drawing” or the Slipknot album:

“We’ve been told by residence [sic] in the area they’ve seen him dress in all black, Gothic. Well, we’ve been told they saw him in the backyard throwing daggers at the fence. We’ve been told he listens to heavy metal. That was his own admittance, that he does listen to heavy metal. Is that significant in this case? I don’t know. Does it mean anything in this case? I don’t know,” said Chief Clabes.

All of these comments trivialize the nature of this crime, whether Smith or someone else committed it. This was an awful, brutal homicide, likely committed either by someone in a deeply disturbed state or by someone pushed too far by trauma and circumstance. The fact that reporters continue to grasp at speculative straws — particularly when the suspect is a teenager, gets us no closer to understanding this crime — or any violent crime committed by a minor. And this is something we, as a society, both desperately want and desperately need to undersand.